Westerner Out of Water

Well, I’m officially living and working in the great state of Maine – about as far away from any western state as one could get. How the hell did I get here?! And how does this move have anything to do with my farming-themed blog?

Change: a vital and unavoidable reality of every-day life. Change can be instigated, plotted, pondered, or thrust upon us. Regardless, change in our life circumstances often incites some kind of change, or adjustment, internally. This kind of change can be welcomed or wrestled, ignored or challenged; it requires patience to accept and thoughtfulness to understand.

Aside from changes that occur out of our control, we often create changes in our external lives in order to bring about change within our mind or body. We start a diet or organize the closet; we move to Maine or buy a new outfit. We do these things because we are trying to move from where we are to where we want to be. We are trying to change something within us to make ourselves closer to the “end goal.”

But I often forget something very important about this self-inflicted change: the results take time. I am part of a generation that expects instant gratification in every facet: information, food, money, purchases, services, etc. Everything we could ever want or hope to learn is literally at the tips of our fingers! 24-hour news, Google, fast food, mobile banking and online shopping, Uber cabs, delivery services, Twitter, Netflix and Hulu, and even a high resolution camera. There’s no wonder I get frustrated when the internal change I want in my life doesn’t happen exactly how I want it right now! But that’s not how life works – as I’m learning.

Self-inflicted change does not always produce the desired internal shift the moment it is instigated. I can’t expect to have a rockin’ body two days into a new yoga routine. I can’t expect to be proficient at a new job after my first day. I can’t expect to feel enlightened within the first 15 minutes of meditating. These desired things take time and patience to attain and that is hard to remember. It is challenging to not become frustrated or discouraged when the expectation of instant gratification does not match the reality of the situation. And in realizing this, it is my responsibility to change the expectation.

“What are you getting at?” you ask.

Brian and I moved to Maine as the next step in attaining our farming goals. We created a mess load of change within our lives to get us from where we were to where we want to be – as partners, as farmers, and as individuals. Our time in Montana was more exciting and educational than we ever could have imagined and I am so grateful to have had that experience in my life. As the season was wrapping up at Two Bear Farm, Brian and I were trying to plot our next step. Stay in Montana, work on a different farm, look for land, travel overseas, move somewhere totally random…?

Whilst pondering our options, Brian stumbled upon an ad posted by a lady in Maine who owns a farm and was looking for someone to start a vegetable CSA program on the land. In terms of our future farm vision, it was perfect! We felt that we had the necessary skills to start a vegetable operation so we contacted the lady and interviewed with her over the phone. We were so excited and began to look into the communities and culture of Maine – a land known to me only as lobster-covered rocky coastlines and the home of Eliot Coleman. We invested so much time and emotional energy into this opportunity: finding planting charts for southern Maine, researching the size and scope of nearby markets, and calculating travel times to the closest cities and coastal getaways. Well…the lady ended up choosing a different person to start the CSA program. What were we to do?

In a swirl of emotions, we concluded that regardless of this specific farming position, a move to Maine would be in our best long-term interest. In terms of our “end goal,” Maine is a place we can see ourselves farming and creating the life we wish to create. More specifically, Portland, Maine is a dream: a small big city, close to hubs like Boston and New York, on the coast with access to countless outdoor recreation havens, contains a growing and thriving local food movement while providing opportunities for further outreach and niche markets. It’s wonderful! So the plan was this: move to Portland, become city dwellers, get great and high-paying jobs, experience the excitement and recklessness of our last youthful years, save money to put toward buying land or acquiring farm equipment, write a business plan and familiarize ourselves with the local farmers and markets, and in a few years – when we’re ready – start a farm! This is still the plan…but we’re realizing it may not be as simple and linear as we thought.

Since inflicting all this change on our life situation, and beginning with the expectation that everything would work out exactly as we planned it, we are constantly being reminded that the desired effects of our actions will take time to come to fruition. I can’t expect every desire of my imagined city life to be fulfilled during the first weekend gallivanting the streets of Portland. I can’t expect to land the perfectly paying job and the perfectly priced apartment the first day I set foot in the city. I can’t expect to feel connected to such a complex community after talking with two farmers. I can’t expect “step one” to be easy just because I put this plan into action. But I can remember that I promoted these changes in my life to move my internal and external self closer to where I want to be.

Brian and I moved to Maine to step closer to our long-term goals and we must remember that the adjustment takes time. The fruits of this labor are not immediate – but they will be gratifying and they will create the desired change I long for. Change is hard in any situation; but it is good (and important) to be reminded that self-inflicted change requires patience, an eye on the prize, and an acceptance of the discomfort along the way.

To paint a picture, Brian and I drove to Maine about four weeks ago with all the nerves, anxiety, and excitement of cresting the highest peak on a rollercoaster. Some family friends about an hour north of Portland have graciously opened their home to us until we move into an apartment on January 1^st. Nearly every day, we have made the trek to Portland – rain, snow, or shine – and hit the pavement (and the internet) to search for jobs. It is exhausting to put all your emotional energy and carefully crafted sentences into dozens of cover letters only to hear nothing back. But! This is part of the discomfort of self-inflicted change! These are the challenges that make us lose sight of the end goal and often abandon our dreams! Fortunately, persistence pays off and Brian and I are persistent people. I found a seasonal retail job that I will be able to keep after the holidays until I find a more permanent and predictable occupation. Brian just started as the newest smoke master at the best BBQ restaurant in Portland – and he loves it! Soon we will stop spending precious income on gas and start saving for a future farm. Soon the discomforts of all this change will start to diminish and we will feel forward movement – like starting a new workout routine or learning a musical instrument. I’m confident this move will be worth it and I’m glad we took the plunge!